lost.

yesterday, my celphone slipped out of my pocket... and it never screamed for help.

maybe it was really time for it to say goodbye. all things, i suppose, have their own final bows.

i once had read an essay in a sweet valley novel, that sometimes, losing things is just a window waiting to be latched open, and you'll find something more rewarding than what you had lost.

i'm trying to believe, i have finally found something -- someone -- more important than a piece of electronic gadget.

i have found my long lost girl. i have found melissa.

ethel booba's scandal: hoping it's never too late for anything

i asked for the link of ms. ethel booba's video from someone (a blogger) who i came across when i typed her name in the search engine. he is nice, indeed, for giving what people ask from him as soon as possible. but then it dawned on me: you could never really hide yourself or a bit of you from anyone, and the more you expect it to be hidden, the more it reveals itself in the least expected way.

this video is indeed hers. well, no one will admit a very private-cum-sexual act like that to the public. especially here in the philippines, where there are still crumpled minds who can't think out of the box and they depend on their traditional culture for the implementation of their robo-patterned lives.

i only have this message for the cellphone repairman who spread ms. ethel's videos like wildfire: "fuck you!" (sorry for that). that man doesn't sport a conscience. he never weighed the consequences of laying out the cards of someone in the public traffic of controversy.

and we are helpless, in every angle -- there's no more sense in keeping it in... either hate her for it, be disgusted with her... or respect her, understand her, because it's her life, she is human, and she didn't chose to display her life for all to see.

counting the days

it's been two weeks since my last post, and i still couldn't believe that i haven't given up on this girl yet.

if only she knew i keep thinking about her, every blink of an eye, every moment of nothingness and activity.

if only she knew how i enjoy her company, her sweet smile instead of her sneer. i love it when im the one who makes her smile.

if only she knew how much i like her, not necessarily love in a deep level, but because she is also a dear friend, my concern for her never fades but glitters all the more.

if only i could be sure of her feelings for me, then maybe i could let myself be carried away with the stinging bait of love.

i could only count the days... until i finally let love... or let go.