never mind last tuesday

i saw her again this morning. and i have changed my mind (as if nothing had happened). forget about the "one more week" thing. what matters is i am still at it again.

well, maybe i'm just overreacting to all the past happenings of the week. her forgetting to thank me for my doing the research about a certain plant group. her lashing at me for looking at her while she ate. maybe i was the one who asked too much. i told her though about it, and she wrote the two big words in a sheet from her notebook. but come to think of it, what is the use of saying thanks if it doesn't come from the heart? and who cares anyway if she, indeed gets thankful for me?

i hate to admit it. but i do care. and it hurts me everytime i get ignored.

last tuesday, i told myself: "just one more week... and it'll be over if it seems"

i wouldn't say i've had enough. it's just that i tend to be satisfied if i get acknowledged with my help, or with what i have done. i am like that myself -- appreciative. and if anyone fails to appreciate my existence, then maybe we're not made for each other after all. so by tuesday next week, the verdict will be revealed. i will give her a letter airing all my feelings towards her (it doesn't necessarily mean i already love her; maybe i just like her), and i will ask her if she can still give it a chance, and if she still likes for me to continue pursuing her, that she must meet me at this particular time and particular place.

and if things get worse, then i guess i'm just not that lucky when it comes to relationships.

dealing with liars

unsurprisingly, many of us find ourselves locked up in the poisonous tentacles of truth-depriving citizens of the society -- the ambitious manipulators of stained reality. they are ordinary people in our life which can include our friends, classmates, parents, teachers, officemates, etc., and all are afraid to face the truth or just satisfied in seeing us writhe in blindness, pain, and insult, therefore ruining the spontaniety of our own human consciousness.

how to deal with them

1) silent treatment. one of the reasons they lie is that they themselves have had the habit of doing so unnecessarily and it takes more effort in squeezing out the real score from them. i go for silence, because at that rate, they will realize that you know the facts, pretty easy than just telling him or her why the hell they've done it to you. be calm. maybe they have good reasons to back them up on why they lied in the first place, hmm?

2) error-pointing technique. in any subject matter, a lie wih surely misalign with what's really there, so try to talk him or her the flaws of his statements. if he or she always get the cues from you, he or she will be intimidated to do it again for fear of humiliation.

3) sarcasm torture. be sure to be cautious in doing this feat because your relationship with each other is at stake. if you lash out overly striking thorns on them, all the more that they would deny. just make them feel that you, as a human person, need not hear anything which is not true in the first place, and that you are someone whom they could trust with -- someone who could accept them for who they are. make your conversations simple and fun, and make him or her feel welcome in your arms. you'll be surprised with the results.

of course, these are personal opinions of the mind and need not taken seriously. but they could give you ideas on how to attack these certain situations. bear in mind the fact that they are also human, and that all human beings have resorted to little lies every now and then. it is just for you to decide if you would keep on tolerating their misdeed or awaken their conscience from earhtly illusions before it is too late.

this... you gotta hear

hey guys... did you know that the simple gurl lourland was referring to in his post, "someone just gave me a cute li'l teddy", the gurl in the post, "what's in a name? pt 1: girl", and the gurl in the post, "the simple feeling of contentment in the eyes of a nineteen-year-old guy" are referring to only one person?

she is miss melissa zuñiga, whose name is inevitably written in his heart.

exhausted minds never produce exhausted ideas

here i am again, after 2 days* of algae-hunting and white-sand tripping in the beautiful province of ilocos norte, where the diverse flora and fauna succeed in their domineering existence amidst the hustle and bustle of the modern-day human activities.

here i am again, surviving, after all, from the twelve teeny but mercenary spines of the sea urchin i have picked from the sea, their remnants still evident in my right humble thumb.

here i am again, from the 12 hours of going to the magnificent town pagudpud from malolos city, and 12 hours of going back homeward to my abode, the city of san fernando in pampanga.

here i am again, after spending php2,900 for our bus, food and hotel accomodations for our seemingly eventful fieldwork, in compliance to our curriculum as biologists, excluding the pocket money i have spent for pack snacks and fastfood meals, stopovers, souvenirs for friends back home, and miscellaneous necessities.

and here i am again, keeping and forever cherishing in my heart all the fun, wacky, and exciting memories with my friends, classmates, and professors, at the same time pleading for another once-in-a-lifetime event like this one to happen again.

still, i am here.

*february 7-9, 2005
(half of the first day and half of the third day was devoted to travel time)

the simple feeling of contentment in the eyes of a nineteen-year-old guy

nothing could really compare to being at ease with what you have and own... with what's there and what's not to look for... and now i'm starting to just slow down and enjoy the ride of friendship with this one simple girl... the special someone of my moment and second... the person who could easily put my heart into a flutter, yet promises no deep commitment, no intricate heartache, no damned heaviness... just pure enjoyment of the feeling...

...of falling in the sweet trance of young love.