what's in a name? pt 3: the humble bee

this is a very beautiful poem i have come across when i was struggling to combine the names melissa and paul. i hope a beautiful relationship would bloom as well; as sweetly as my heart went upon reading it.




The Humble-Bee

By Ralph Waldo Emerson


BURLY, dozing humble-bee,

Where thou art is clime for me.

Let them sail for Porto Rique,

Far-off heats through seas to seek;

I will follow thee alone,
5
Thou animated torrid-zone!

Zigzag steerer, desert cheerer,

Let me chase thy waving lines;

Keep me nearer, me thy hearer,

Singing over shrubs and vines.
10

Insect lover of the sun,

Joy of thy dominion!

Sailor of the atmosphere;

Swimmer through the waves of air;

Voyager of light and noon;
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Epicurean of June;

Wait, I prithee, till I come

Within earshot of thy hum,—

All without is martyrdom.


When the south wind, in May days,
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With a net of shining haze

Silvers the horizon wall,

And with softness touching all,

Tints the human countenance

With the color of romance,
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And infusing subtle heats,

Turns the sod to violets,

Thou, in sunny solitudes,

Rover of the underwoods,

The green silence dost displace
30
With thy mellow, breezy bass.


Hot midsummer’s petted crone,

Sweet to me thy drowsy tone

Tells of countless sunny hours,

Long days, and solid banks of flowers;
35
Of gulfs of sweetness without bound

In Indian wildernesses found;

Of Syrian peace, immortal leisure,

Firmest cheer, and bird-like pleasure.


Aught unsavory or unclean
40
Hath my insect never seen;

But violets and bilberry bells,

Maple-sap and daffodels,

Grass with green flag half-mast high,

Succory to match the sky,
45
Columbine with horn of honey,

Scented fern and agrimony,

Clover, catchfly, adder’s-tongue

And brier-roses, dwelt among;

All beside was unknown waste,
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All was picture as he passed.


Wiser far than human seer,

Yellow-breeched philosopher

Seeing only what is fair,

Sipping only what is sweet,
55
Thou dost mock at fate and care,

Leave the chaff and take the wheat.

When the fierce northwestern blast

Cools sea and land so far and fast,

Thou already slumberest deep;
60
Woe and want thou canst outsleep;

Want and woe, which torture us,

Thy sleep makes ridiculous.

what's in a name? pt 2: boy

PAUL
Gender: Masculine
Usage: English, French, German, Romanian, Biblical
Pronounced: PAWL, POL (French) [key]
Extra Info: Popularity, Related Names, Namesakes, Name Days, Websites
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From the Roman family name Paulus, which meant "small" or "humble" in Latin. Saint Paul was an important leader of the early Christian church, his story told in Acts in the New Testament. He was originally named Saul, but changed his name after converting to Christianity. Most of the epistles in the New Testament were authored by him. This was also the name of six popes. Famous bearers of this name in the art world include Paul Cezanne and Paul Gauguin, both 19th-century impressionist painters from France.

what's in a name? pt 1: girl

MELISSA
Gender: Feminine
Usage: English, Greek Mythology, Ancient Greek
Pronounced: me-LIS-a [key]
Extra Info: Popularity, Related Names, Namesakes, Name Days, Websites
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Means "bee" in Greek. This was the name of a nymph that cared for young Zeus in Greek mythology. It is also the name of the fairy who helps Rogero escape from the witch Alcina in the poem 'Orlando Furioso' by Ariosto.

humble awakenings of my cumbersome conscience

after the photocopy incident with my bestfriend, which i have told you in my previous post, i began to think that, really, sometimes, all things good is not enough for life to go on smoothly. a little bit of friction makes it all the more exciting, and thus, far realistic. as soon as you express sadness and irateness about someone's attitude, he or she will eventually get the cue. your relationship will refresh as if nothing had happened and as if you were both created in harmony after all you've been through.

literally speaking, i am now the happiest bestfriend in the whole world. thank you, ma. editha, even if you couldn't be more of a friend to me, because, i realized (again) that being your bestfriend is better than anything else in my life.

these realizations are what makes me keep going in this rollercoaster ride of my earthly journey.

no more mr. nice guy

i give up. i realized being "always" good to other people makes them insensitive to your own needs. As if it were my job to give and succumb to all their demands. damn.

just awhile ago, i fought with my thirteen-year-old sister, and i knew i was right in anyway you look at it. i was asking her to replace me in attending our father's cafe, as we have previously agreed upon, because i had to hear mass and sing as a choir member, but she refused, and said her head hurts. so, i thought, ok if this is what you like, then you're gonna get what you ask. so i told her off when she tried to use the telephone (she was planning to chat with her boyfriend again, and she did this always and i always let her do it because i was a nice brother and did things so that her secret would be kept from my parents but now she will regret doing this to me), and she kept asking, "who the hell are you to forbid me to use the phone? do you own it?," and i answered, "i am your brother and i am much older than you." and i told her she was a selfish brat, she wanted everything to work exactly her way, and i told her when it was my turn to ask for some favor, she wouldn' even budge and think, and would say no right away. well, she chose her fate. and i threatened to tell our parents about her "secret relationship." it was a scene wherein she was about to get the phone from my grasp and seemed she was ready to hurl it at me at the same time. she surrendered and threw the hand mirror away instead. seven years of bad luck for her, and i win. buahahaha.

a somewhat relevant situation happened two days ago. my classmate asked me why i had such a face, and i told her it was because my bestfriend did not anymore give me the warm attention she once showed me, i was asking this friend if she wanted to give a copy of a song to one of her buddies and she ignored me (well, i felt so even if she mumbled something i couldn't understand). when this girl bestfriend heard this (which i did on purpose), she returned the photocopy i wanted to give to her buddy, said i should give it to her myself, and said too, that i was so annoying. guilty, isn't she?

i just hope i'm doing the right thing here, that i'm just showing them what kind of monster or devil i could be if they forget that plain old me is still right here... i have my own needs and expectations... and that i too clamor for mere display of attention.

sorry but i have to do this.

i make mistakes. i am only human. i remember giving out a statement - a fearless forecast in post #5 of my october 2004 archives. it was about starstruck wave 2, and i was then deeply infatuated with the instant prowess of lj reyes in the said artista search. and i wrote, "lj will make the win... together with benj, her male counterpart." well, it seems that i was wrong after all. i'm quite pretty sure who the winner now is. none other than (i hate to admit this) ms. ryza cenon, the bubbly and cute barbie of a girl. she does good in all the challenges to her, and gets better as the competition nears its end. lj, on the other hand, has been so spooned up with all the judges' appraisals that she forgot to maintain her lead. she doesn't shine anymore. as for the guy contestants, it is now mike tan who seems to climb it to the top. or cj muere (anyone can win), whose talent makes the experts hard to put him down. benj pacia was the only one who got booted out of the danger six, because he has been inconsistently competitive compared to his co-survivors. actually, the council at first thought of him as, "the guy to beat." but in the end, we witness an indolent performer - "just doing his best" - but he fails to realize that his best is not good enough.

this just leads us to the fact that first impressions do not always last.

the fury of life.

WHILE still recovering from the shock of the Quezon Province disaster, tsunami hit most of Sri Lanka, southern part of India, the Maldives, and even Somalia and Kenya, and nearer home, Sumatra and Aceh in Indonesia, Phuket in Thailand, and Penang in Malaysia last Sunday. This time the tsunami (a term we often used in an unexpected and sudden disaster) was real. Unlike the Quezon Province tragedy which was primarily caused by man’s greed and neglect, the tsunami which at this time of writing had already claimed over 50,000 lives, was an act of Nature. It was triggered by an earthquake which registered 9.0 magnitude on the Richter scale. http://www.mb.com.ph/issues/2005/01/01/OPED2005010125486.html

This is a piece of an article i ran across the net, trying to put the pieces of death as if it were carton cut-outs which were easy to glue together. but, no, they were not. and even the death of my grandfather yesterday morning is not a paperback tale. he is actually my grandfather, because he is the husband of my real grandma's sister, but not we are not really blood-related, and having not seen him yet really breaks my heart and it is hard for me to face the fact that the man i was having debates and storytelling with just a few weeks ago, and the man who just asked me if his radio was already fixed by my father last saturday is now lying in a dark coffin.

i woke up yesterday morning hearing the voices of my parents and my grandma and my tito (my late lolo tony's son) trying to weigh and figure out if the topic they're discussing was true; that how could life have been so unfair that not even anyone of us thought that lolo tony was already counting his last few days. i just heard "been having excretions of blood" and "low blood pressure" and "pale this past few weeks," but still i myself would not believe.

this is the truth. and the fury of life. we cannot choose our endings. this story or journey no matter how we call it may go on and on but no one is sure when it will stop. only god knows.

this truth, however, reminds us all, to do all things we could do as soon as possible. we should never waste the chance to say "i love you" and "thanks" and "sorry" for the colorful people in our lifetime. before it's too late.

the truth is, i wish i could have said these words to my lolo when he was still alive. but it is already late for anything. only the glass surface of his coffin, the flowers, his lone photograph would stare blankly at me for the rest of my life.

someone just gave me a cute li'l teddy

this was some sorta unusual experience for me because usually i'm the one who's giving out the gifts and all, but suddenly, this particular girl (who is a friend of mine) gives me a cute white palm-sized teddy bear. i don't know... i won't expect anything out of it. it's just that i am not the type of person who receives little notes of love and care, and objects of friendship and gratitude. it's just not me. i'm not very lovable (or so i think). and i am contented with what i have to offer to others: my transparency as an individual.

actually, i'm a very weird person. i am the person whom you will see talking to strangers, shaking hands with friends and acquaintances, the one who would just blurt out the most unusual comments, and the one who would not even talk a bit, just thinking deep, enjoying the moments passing by in a jiffy.

so, who am i then to this sweet beautiful girl? i am not making any assumptions. but i am just the ordinary 3rd yr biology student who passes on his lecturettes and pamphlet to a 2nd yr ex-co-staffer, and what do i get? a teddy bear! that's new all right. ho-hum.

i mean, by the end of the day, i realize who really am i to the bunch of people around me. do i make a difference in their lives? i just hope someday, they too may realize that i am here. i exist. that they have a friend in me waiting to reach out to them. though not in material things, i am just the same me i have been, and will always be someone who would give the support anyone could ever have.

i'm not hoping for another teddy bear. but i just wish someone would care, that's all. just like the sweet girl who gave me my teddy bear.

a crazy mind does not know it is.

never call someone insane because he will only deny it. but if he agrees, he could be considered crazy too. ergo, only the sober and sane can recognize which are loonies and which are not.

a new year doesn't necessarily mean a new life.

perhaps the human mind's greatest fear at the tick of new year's day is to formulate a plausible, feasible, and realistic resolution, which, i suppose, is almost always broken at the speed of the calendar.

why, then, is there a need to have one?

we, as individuals, were always taught to set our goals straight, so that our purpose would be clearly realized, and success be attained. we are opportunists in nature -- power grabbers, in this society of upper and lower stratum of ideas and norms. therefore, the need for a new year's resolution is logically ideal for any individual who wants to have a purpose in life, even if in the long run, it's not strictly followed at all. it is, perhaps for most people, a good start.

if having one is logically ideal, how, then, can we keep it up at our asses for a lifetime?

two things: self-discipline, and conscience.

ps. do it for yourself, not for others.

this poem is dedicated to ms. janice barte, a friend whom i really like... it's her birthday today!

we've only known each other
for quite some time it seems
but each minute, each second we're together
is something worth painting in my dreams

i know we're worlds apart
i know i'm not ur type
but this i bet is the strangest thing
ur the closest to my heart and hype

wishin' we'd be friends forever
is already a big favor i'd plead to death
that's why i'm giving u my assurance
i'd always be here for u til my last breath